Let's talk about first impressions—the kind that can make or break a budding relationship between a visitor and your church community.

You may think this is a small matter, but the devil—or shall we say, the divine—is in the details.

Today's hot topic? The long-standing tradition of giving out branded coffee mugs to new visitors. I recently touched on this in a video I shared and got both applause and critique.

So, let’s talk about it.

Grab a cuppa—this is a hot take you won't want to miss! ☕

A few ground rules first.

The Underlying Values: Why Give Gifts?

To be abundantly clear, I have no problem with churches giving gifts to new visitors. In fact, I'd encourage it. But what's the endgame?

For me, two key values guide this practice:

1. Introduce Guests to Our Church's Values & DNA: The gift should give a snapshot of what our church is all about.

2. Get This New Visitor In Touch With One of Our Pastors or Leaders: the point of the gift is to be a conduit for personal connection to take place.

Those are the two values that are motivating my decisions here. If you have different values it's perfectly sensible to come to different conclusions.

Bottom line? Mission should drive method. Not the other way around.

So why then do I hate mugs as gifts?

Simply put, mugs aren’t gifts. They’re marketing materials being presented as gifts.

And don’t get me wrong, I don't have a problem with churches engaging in marketing! But when your marketing efforts are transparently wrapped in the facade of a gift, well…

That leaves a not-so-great lasting impression and this “gift” as a gesture can come off as pretty self-absorbed.

Now, please don't get upset when I say this. It's not a personal attack on you or your church. We're just interrogating ideas here.

But why do our churches give out mugs in the first place? The honest answer? Probably because so many other churches do it.

As it turns out, those of us who serve in the church wear so many hats and are already spread too thin. We don't have the time, energy, or expertise to think through every little thing. What happens?

We just look at what other churches are doing and we follow the leader.

The problem?

When we blindly copy other churches the danger is that we're no longer keeping mission above method. We're flipping them. And remember, this is the number one rule.

Missional values should drive our methods. Not the other way around.

As I mentioned, I shared these opinions in a video where many of you didn’t agree that the mug is a “self-absorbed” gift.

Let’s check out your common objections.

Objection #1: "The Gift is a Reminder"

Some argue that the mug serves as a reminder to come back to church. Which is precisely my point.

The primary purpose of the mug is not to be a gift but to act as a mini billboard in the cupboard of a person's home.

That's marketing, not a gift. If you still don’t agree, let’s flip the script. Consider this:

You have a sister named Rachel. Rachel has a new boyfriend coming to Christmas this year. His name is Mark and Mark is a real estate agent. This is your first time meeting Mark so you're exchanging gifts on Christmas morning. Mark hands you the gift he bought for you. You unwrap it and…It's a mug with a shiny logo on it that reads “Mark the Realtor.”

Is that a gift you’re excited to receive? And what does it say about Mark? That out of all the gifts he could give you, he chose that?

Maybe he wants you to be able to enjoy a hot cup of coffee, sure. But maybe he also wants you to know he's a realtor and the next time you're thinking of a move, he wants to be top of mind.

Again, that's not first and foremost a gift.

It's marketing materials inside the Trojan Horse of a coffee mug.

Objection #2: "Be Grateful!"

This was the second most common retort I received. Surely, any gift is better than no gift, right?

But if we're talking utility, mugs have limited use. We already have mugs. And they don't wear out. Those mugs will only ever need to be replaced if you break them.

Perhaps instead we could try putting our logo on something a visitor might need? In my experience, consumables are great for this, like coffee beans or freshly baked bread. I actually saw that idea in the comments on the video and I thought it was a really cool idea.

Even if you gave me socks with your church’s logo on them, the socks I have now will eventually need replacing so I could even see myself wearing your church socks because there is a foreseeable need somewhere in the future.

Real talk - I will never need another coffee mug in my life.

Now I know you might be thinking…

“Brady, some people may not have as much as the rest of us, and a mug would be useful.”

To which I would respond - if a person is in that place of need then there are so many better ways to meet their need, like a voucher to get some food or a Starbucks gift card if you want to keep it coffee-themed. ☕️

But I'd posit that a mug with your church’s logo on it being given to a person in that place of need is not the best your church can do.

Why not give something that actually fulfills a need?

Objection #3: "You're Overthinking It"

At this point, yes, the issue might seem trivial. But as a church communications coach, it’s my job to share how we can all do better at representing our mission and ultimately God’s Church in our communities and to the world.

In the same way, a preacher might delight in the minutia of their sermon's composition or a worship leader might delight in the intricacies of a praise set, I delight in the details of this kind of stuff.

I don't believe for a moment that it doesn't make a difference.

Right now, it’s difficult for the average church to reach new people and new families.

So when they do decide to visit our churches for the first time we've got one chance to leave a lasting impression, one chance to show them what our church really cares about, and one chance to connect them personally to pastoral care.

If we squander that opportunity, chances are the family leaves never to be heard from again. That's how it goes most of the time.

So, yes! I absolutely care about this stuff and I delight in the details of it because I believe the consequences can be immense if we get it wrong.

Small things can have immense impacts.

So, What's The Alternative?

Glad you asked!

I've been a long-time believer in making a donation to a charity of the visitor's choice.

I was thrilled to see so many of you mention this in the comments, talking about how your church does this.

When you offer to make a donation on behalf of your new visitor, you demonstrate your church’s primary focus isn’t yourself, but instead, meeting the needs of others.

Moreover, by inviting your new visitors into the act of giving, you invite them to be a participant in generosity.

You're setting the precedent that you are partners from day one. Here, we do ministry together.

And then what about connecting your new visitor to a pastor?

That's where the Church Connect Card comes in. I've even created a free template for you to use that you can download below.

Conclusion

So, there you have it: an in-depth exploration of the seemingly trivial yet surprisingly impactful "church mug controversy."

As we've discussed, it's crucial to align our methods with our missional values. We're not just giving out tokens…

• We're building connections

• We’re enriching lives

• And we’re glorifying God through our actions.

I invite you to join this conversation. What are some of the innovative ways your church has chosen to welcome newcomers? How do you ensure that your gestures are in sync with your mission and values?

After all, growth happens when we step outside our comfort zones and engage in meaningful dialogue.

Let's learn from each other and continue to make our churches more welcoming, mission-driven, and Christ-focused communities.

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